You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
