So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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