At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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