i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
