I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
