therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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