Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Everything about him screamed your future.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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