so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
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you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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