I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
