So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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