You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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