you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize