he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
