Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
