Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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