you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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