He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
