No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
