also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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