I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
