you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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