Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
