I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
