Three words: puerto rican gang bang
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
