GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just gift wrapped bread.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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