He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize