This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
