In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
