You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
