I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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