I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
