There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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