Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
