Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
