$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
