I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
