I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
