i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
