just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
