is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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