We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
