STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
