I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
