What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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