it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
