I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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