Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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