he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
