first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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