Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
