Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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