I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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