It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize