idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
