Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
