just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
