i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
