watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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