just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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