Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
