I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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