Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
