shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
